I’ve been seeing the memes about 2016 being like the shittiest year ever…But, let’s face it, those memes happen every single year.
Have bad things happened? Maybe.
Have you thought about the good? Have you been grateful?
We are the ones with the power to have the life we desire. It is on me. It is on you.
You have the power to create the life you want. You can be happy, confident, radiant, successful, etc, or you can be upset, depressed, and miserable. It’s up to you. The choice is yours lady!
Want to start feeling empowered?
Here are 11 things to let go of in 2017 (actually as soon as you read this post 🙂 ) and what to do instead.
*Note – I’m getting real here. You may or may not want to hear some of this, but again – the choice is up to you to learn, grown and make a change or remain the same.
1.People pleasing – It’s great that you want to help others, but sometimes it can get to a point where it becomes self destructive. you’ve spent the past year (or maybe even the majority of your life) being the “Yes” girl, and not because It brings you joy, but because you are afraid to let others down, afraid of what others will think, wanting to be liked, or maybe it’s something else…Well, it’s time to recognize the power of saying, “No” AND knowing it’s okay! Think of what all the people pleasing is causing you. What are you giving up for others?
Instead, ask yourself why you are doing the people pleasing…Is it because you want others to like you? Is it because there is a belief from the past telling you this is what you need to do? Know that others will not fall apart if you say no. They will find a way. In fact, think of you saying no as helping them step into their own power!
2. Putting yourself last – This kind of goes with the people pleasing…Are you feeling exhausted all the time? Resentful? Gaining weight? Have you looked in the mirror and wondered, “What the hell has happened to me?” Those are signs you are putting yourself last and not taking care of YOU.
Instead, remember that you can not take care of others if you are not well. If you are unhappy, stressed out and exhausted, others will see that, especially kids. Actions speak louder than words. Personally, I want my kids to know that they deserve to be happy, energized and healthy. How can I expect them to truly believe I mean that if they don’t see me doing it.
3. Spending money on shit you (and others) don’t need – Um…You know when you go to Target for toilet paper and leave with a $140 bill? No your toilet paper is not made of gold…It’s shiny object syndrome and I totally get it. Do you really need those throw pillows, new shower curtain, candles…Does your baby really need all those cute new outfits (that – let’s face it – they will wear once or maybe never wear…Told ya I’m getting real with you xoxo)?
Instead, start investing in yourself and your future instead!!! Yes those exclamation points are necessary J And yeah – when you have kids it’s okay to spend money on you. Stop letting guilt run your life lady! I know my kids will remember the fact that their mom is happy and healthy because she has invested in her mental and physical health vs that random toy they forget about by the next day. I’ve invested in myself a lot (even when I was broke, I found a way), and doing that is the best thing I have ever done, and I will continue to….and will children are benefitting from it now and will continue to. Get a hold of your finances too. Need some money mind set work? Get on that! Some books I recommend are Get Rich Lucky Bitch and Rich Bitch.
4. Treating your body like crap – The processed foods…The lack of exercise…The stress…To be blunt – this is a big F you to your beautiful body. Our bodies are amazing! Ah-mazing!! It’s time to start showing your body some love! I’m not saying you need to be 100%, but come on! Your body deserves to be treated better, and you know it 😀
Instead, eat whole, nutrient dense foods. Make time to exercise. Educate yourself on what processed “foods” do to your body. HERE are some great documentaries.
5. Saying “I can’t” etc – This “simple” statement is holding you back from so much…so so much, and if you keep saying it, it will be true. Where is that belief coming from? How do you actually know you can’t?
Instead, it’s time to start believing in yourself, and trying new things; and note that when I say “trying” that doesn’t mean try once and if it doesn’t work, you quit. I mean you try, and you keep going. You will soon learn how incredible amazing you are!
6. Wasting time/waiting – Be honest here – how many days, weeks, months, years have gone by since the initial thought that you needed to do something have gone by? The longer you wait, the less likely anything will happen or change. How much longer can you really go on living the way you are? What is this causing you? What are you missing out on because you keep waiting?
Instead, take action NOW! And even better – get some help!! Stop trying to do everything on your own. Get help, get a coach/mentor and you will save soooooo much time, energy and money.
7. Comparing – “Comparison is the thief of joy”. I love that quote because, well, it is so true. Hello pinterest and other social media! I see so many moms (I was one) looking at Pinterest, blogs, etc and thinking they were shitty moms because they aren’t doing all kinds of projects with their kids…making every single thing home made, etc. And let’s talk Facebook and Instagram – the usual things you see are the highlight reels (not from me. I hook you all up with the reality J). Remember that…remember that when you see the successes, there’s a lot behind that. Remember when you see all the smiles, there may be 56442462990 crying and frowns that came before. Remember when you see those perfect meals, they might be only happening like once a month.
Start to see others as inspiration and remember to always be you! And, also know that perfection is not real, and that trying to attain it, can also steal your joy.
8. Thinking you aren’t enough…good enough, etc. – Guess what? Everyone else is thinking the same thing in some way. Some have just worked on their mindset so much that they move forward. Why do you think you aren’t good enough? What stories are you telling yourself? By saying that, what is this costing you? What are you missing out on because of these limiting beliefs?
Instead, work on on reframing those thoughts, and take action. As you do, the more confident you will become.
9. Letting failure hold you back – Failure is scary. I get that. I also know that what is on the other side of fear is pretty freaking awesome, and that the most successful people (and what I personally define success is going after what YOU desire in life, and getting it) have failed many many many times.
Instead, now that if you fail, some pretty awesome growth happens, so start to see the failures as a learning process and stepping stones on the way to success. Embrace failure, and realize all you are learning along the way.
10. Surrounding yourself with the wrong people – What kind of person do you want to be? Do an inventory of the people you are around the most, and think if they embody the characteristics you desire. Also, do you surround yourself with people that feed into your pity parties, etc?
Instead, surround yourself with those that make sure to take care of themselves…that go after what they want…that will tell you what you need to hear, support and uplift you. As Jim Rohn says, “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” Need better people in your life, join my free fb community here.
11. Posting negative and “woe is me”/playing the victim posts on social media – Please just stop with this. Every time you do that it lowers your energy and the energy of others who come across it. Every time I see someone post, “Ugh…” I can feel the anxiety build up in me. Can life be tough? Hell yes it can, but what are you doing about it? Complaining without taking action to change will get you nowhere.
Oh and along with this – no more commenting with negativity on others’ posts. Let’s stop bringing others down.
Instead, be the light in peoples’ lives. Share positivity. Share love. Make it a point to be the light? Going through something? Share what you are doing to make it better. Show that you are working on it and how. This will help others.
Big changes are not easy. It’s a journey. It’s a process. It takes time. There are bumps in the road, but it is so worth it! Change your mind set. Love yourself. Let go of these things. Empower yourself. Get help, guidance and support, and watch 2017 kick ass!! No more need to post those “This year sucked” memes because your years will never suck again! Boom!
Want some help from someone who’s been through it all? Like I chose these 11 things to write about because I had to in order to stop being miserable and start being happy….Send me an email to Tatiana.firstname.lastname@example.org or contact me on Facebook here!