Start by saying to yourself, “I deserve to be happy…Really fucking happy.”
And know that you have the power to create the life you want (especially if you are reading this). You can be happy, healthy, strong, confident, radiant, successful, etc, or you can be upset, unhealthy, and unhappy. It’s up to you. The choice is yours lady!
Want to start feeling empowered?
Here’s what to do to be really f’ing happy in 2019.
Remember – the choice is up to us to learn, grown and make a change or remain the same.
1.Give & receive – What I’m really saying here is to stop the people pleasing. It’s great that you want to help others, but sometimes it can get to a point where it becomes self destructive. Maybe you’ve spent the past year (or maybe even the majority of your life) being the “Yes” girl, and not because It brings you joy, but because you are afraid to let others down, afraid of what others will think, wanting to be liked, or maybe it’s something else…Well, it’s time to recognize the power of saying, “No” AND knowing it’s okay! Think of what all the people pleasing is causing you. What are you giving up for others? (Please do continue to give though because the world needs people that love to serve and give to others, and you will feel all the feels when you do, just be aware and have boundaries in place)
Instead, ask yourself why you are doing the people pleasing…Is it because you want others to like you? Is it because there is a belief from the past telling you this is what you need to do? Know that others will not fall apart if you say no. They will find a way. In fact, think of you saying no as helping them step into their own power!
2. Put yourself first – This kind of goes with the people pleasing…Are you feeling exhausted all the time? Resentful? Gaining weight? Have you looked in the mirror and wondered, “What the hell has happened to me?” Those are signs you are putting yourself last and not taking care of YOU.
Instead, remember that you can not take care of others if you are not well. If you are unhappy, stressed out and exhausted, others will see that, especially kids. Actions speak louder than words. Personally, I want my kids to know that they deserve to be happy, energized and healthy. How can I expect them to truly believe I mean that if they don’t see me doing it?
3. Treat your body like the amazing thing she is – The processed foods…The lack of exercise…The stress…To be blunt – this is a big F you to your beautiful body. Our bodies are amazing! Ah-mazing!! It’s time to start showing your body some love! I’m not saying you need to be 100%, but your body deserves to be treated better, and you know it 😀
Instead, eat whole, nutrient dense foods. Make time to exercise. Educate yourself on what processed “foods” do to your body.
4. Check your language – The words and phrases you use have immense power, and can hold you back or push you forward. Phrases like, “I can’t”, “I wish I could…”, “Ugh this sucks. My life sucks. This is too hard. Why me?” Etc. will hold you back. Instead flip them to “How can I?”, “How am I gonna make this awesome shit happen?”, “What is this teaching me? How can I learn and grow from this? What actions can I take to get out of this feeling/thing? MORE on this in my podcast episode Language & Identity – They can hold you back or push you to be your best.
Then go to the next…
5. Act & get help – Be honest here – how many days, weeks, months, years have gone by since the initial thought that you needed to do something have gone by? The longer you wait, the less likely anything will happen or change. How much longer can you really go on living the way you are? What is this causing you? What are you missing out on because you keep waiting?
Instead, take action NOW! And even better – get some help!! Stop trying to do everything on your own. Get help, get a coach/mentor and you will save soooooo much time, energy and money. You will move further faster. I have a coach at all times to help me move forward and grow. There’s only so far we will go by ourselves (this was a massive shift in thinking for me).
6. Stop comparing – “Comparison is the thief of joy”. I love that quote because, well, it is so true. Hello pinterest and other social media! I see so many moms (I was one) looking at Pinterest, blogs, etc and thinking they were shitty moms because they aren’t doing all kinds of projects with their kids…making every single thing home made, etc. And let’s talk Facebook and Instagram – the usual things you see are the highlight reels. Remember that…remember that when you see the successes, there’s a lot behind that. Remember when you see all the smiles, there may be 56442462990 crying and frowns that came before. Remember when you see those perfect meals, they might be only happening like once a month.
Start to see others as inspiration and remember to always be you! And, also know that perfection is not real, and that trying to attain it, can also steal your joy.
7. Recognize you are enough AND that growth is a must – Guess what? You are. If you are feeling like you are not, why is that?Why do you think you aren’t good enough? What stories are you telling yourself? By saying that, what is this costing you? What are you missing out on because of these limiting beliefs?
Instead, work on on reframing those thoughts, and take action. As you do, the more confident you will become. And recognize the consistent learning and growth is vital, and so is becoming a better human.
8. Become okay with “failing” – Failure is scary. I get that. I also know that what is on the other side of fear is pretty freaking awesome, and that the most successful people (and what I personally define success is going after what YOU desire in life, and getting it in a way that feels good) have failed many many many times.
Instead, know that if you fail, some pretty awesome growth happens, so start to see the failures as a learning process and stepping stones on the way to success. Embrace failure, and realize all you are learning along the way.
9. Surround yourself with the right people – What kind of person do you want to be? Do an inventory of the people you are around the most, and think if they embody the characteristics you desire. Do they do the things *consistently*? Also, do you surround yourself with people that feed into your pity parties, etc?
Instead, surround yourself with those that make sure to take care of themselves…that go after what they want…that will love on you and will also tell you what you need to hear, support, push and uplift you.
10. Celebrate yourself daily – How often are you talking shit to yourself daily? Now, how often are you seeing your wins and how you are amazing? Celebrate yourself daily in any way. It doesn’t have to be some big thing…Brushing your teeth counts 😉 I want you to get used to being kind to yourself.
11. Be the light – Imagine a world filled with happy people? How much better would it be? Guess how that happens? With each and every one of us spreading our light. Share positivity. Share love. Make it a point to be the light every day in some way by smiling at others, sharing positivity on social media, complimenting others, supporting others, and sharing how you are growing.
Big changes are not easy. It’s simple, but takes work. It’s a journey. It’s a process. It takes time. There are bumps in the road, but it is so worth it! Change your mind set. Love yourself. Do these things. Empower yourself. Get help, guidance and support, and watch yourself become really f’ing happy in 2019! You deserve it!